'Will it be possible to live ethically or will I be buried under a mountain of disposable nappies by the end of the first month?'

Last year ethical living was an aspiration but since I have been pregnant it has become much more of an imperative. Maybe it is the realisation that if I can knit bones, nerves and blood vessels together, I can save the world.

Or maybe it is a more primeval urge; now I am creating the next generation I want the best chance possible for my genes to survive. Whichever, during this pregnancy I have driven my husband and others up the wall in what some may consider to be rather self righteous drive to have an ethical baby.

I have to say that Wriggler is already doing quite well. Having eschewed all chocolate for the first six months in utero, "it" is now only eating Green and Black's chocolate in the final trimester. In fact Wriggler's daily demand for their Fairtrade, Maya Gold chocolate must be keeping several Belizean farmers in profit.

So it is in these last few weeks that I am hibernating in a fantasy world. Not only is labour going to be short and pain free, but my baby will not be a burden on myself, my husband let alone the rest of the world.

'What-ifs'

There is no room for "what ifs?", "yes buts" or any other worries. No, this is a time for joyous naïve dreaming. Shattered illusions can come later - approximately Boxing Day!

So just what kind of life is this ethical baby going to live? Well for starters Wriggler shall be in reusable nappies. Even my fantasy world acknowledges that no baby will be toilet trained from birth. Shame though. I am trying to ignore, the warnings of smelly nappy buckets, endless washing and plain lack of energy to cope with anything but disposables. My mother used washables for all three of us, surely it is possible?

In this ideal world, young Wriggler will sleep in a sustainably harvested nursery, with organic paint on the walls. The pushchair, sling, car seat and other such baby essentials will come from companies who do not exploit their workers or the environment.

Clothing will all be organic. (Did you know that cotton accounts for 25% of the insecticide sprayed around the globe?) Savings and investments for baby will of course be ethical and wise. Oh and of course the little one will be breastfed and then eat homemade organic mush. If only.

The moment I started setting myself up for the title of ethical mother of the year I discovered it might not be as easy as hoped. Just as I might have to face the realities of sleepless nights and explosive poos, my ethical baby might have to compromise.

Hyped

The world of baby products is not just hellishly hyped, but also very expensive. Can I really afford to spend £10 plus on one article of organic clothing, compared to three stretch suits for £3.50 from the supermarket? Thank goodness for hand me downs!

Our natural wood nursery has become full of laminated wood products. However they are second hand so in my mind they are still ethical as we are reusing rather than condemning the cot bed, cupboards and shelving to the dump. I will just have to put in a spider plant in there to absorb the formaldehyde.

Family generosity has also led to a non natural mattress due to the South African cot bed being enormous thus limiting our choice. Likewise our pushchair is not one of the recommended ethical brands but rather is third hand from a friend.

Neither do we have the perfect dishwasher that we promised ourselves if we became parents. Whilst triple A rated and more environmentally friendly than washing up it comes from one of the least ethical companies. However it was from a very local independent shop that I want to support rather than one of the big chains.

Generally we have managed to avoid the guilt that so many brands pour upon parents – “you must get this if you want your baby to be truly safe”. When it came to a car seat though, it was a different story. I am afraid ethics came second to safety and we bought a model recommended by Which?.

Fantasy world

As you see my fantasy world of parenting is already proving not to be so easy. Surprise surprise it is full of negotiation and compromise. Yet the dream of an ethical baby still lives on. Will it be possible to live ethically or will I be buried under a mountain of disposable nappies by the end of the first month? Watch this space. . . .

Sustainable furniture can be found at Organic Furniture. It is made from managed Sussex oak. Otherwise check to see if you furniture comes with Forest Stewardship Council certification.

Natural fibre mattresses and organic clothing can be bought from Green Baby.

Ethical Consumer recommends:

Bugaboo, Cosatto and Baby Dan as the most ethical choices for pushchairs.

Jané (+34 93 7031 800) for car seats.

Huggababy for slings. (They also sell many other natural products.

Servis, Asko, Smeg, Miele, Candy, Hoover and Whirlpool for dishwashers.

• Read Charlotte’s other ethical parent articles